5 Unattractive Traits (That Science Says Are Sexy)

By Sonny Long

We’d all like to believe we know what the other sex wants (sex, hopefully). But most of us only have a faint idea of what those traits the other gender is actually going for are. And, unfortunately for most of us, the countless commercials, shows, and self-help books have lied to us in a cruel ploy to get us to read or watch more on the topic. So, let’s take a look at some of those lies and see what really turns us on...

5. Being Scrawny (Men)

In most of our experiences, women tend to go for the strong men: the ones with elevated testosterone, a trimmed and tuck beard, massive upper body strength, and pardon our French, but the complete douchebags. We know this is mostly evolution taking its course; women want a man who can take care of them, their children, and will survive attacks from rogue mountain lions.

And that’s fine. The rest of the men on the other side of the campfire are totally cool with playing with arts and making songs while the other men are making goals at their sport-games. Just because the beard-fairies haven’t visited these men yet doesn’t mean they won’t someday sprout into the strongmen they know they’re meant to be. At least, that’s what they tell themselves.

But that’s where science comes in. Women tend to find the real strongmen, with elevated testosterone and all, more attractive because it means they’re healthier and more likely to produce stronger offspring that will have a better chance of surviving. That much is obvious. Many studies have also shown that manly facial features make men appear healthy and strong.

Good, manly looks come at the price of not having the inherent qualities that women seek in a long-term mate, however. Our brains automatically link manly men with poor father skills and are often seen as emotionally cold, something women don’t generally put on their “wants” section in their dating profile.

Wimps, on the other hand, are the opposite in every way. Women in more wealthy countries tend to go for the men that would take care of their children, play with them, and be all around a great person to hang out with. Women in poorer countries, rife with disease, often portray their health more negatively. Because of this, they tend to be attracted more to men with manly faces, as well as bodies and voices.

All of this information should come as no surprise, as women living in poorer regions often have only the survival of their children in their interests. On the other hand, women living in first world nations don’t have to worry as much about infant mortality rates given the advances in technology and medicine keep our babies alive much better than in the past. Less masculine men are ideal in this situation, seeing as they are seen as safe for women to be with, especially since they are less likely to cheat.

4. Generosity (Men)

Coming off of the last topic, you would think that men being “nice” or generous would have negative connotations. Think: “sissy boy.” Males of most every species are meant to be strong, independent, and fierce, never thinking of another person’s feelings for fear that they would get in the way of their own bulging testosterones. Any form of donation to the weak would be considered charity to someone who could have killed a buffalo on their own. Think: early Republican.

In a study, men were more likely to give money to strangers. Also, they were more likely to give to charity. However, they were much more likely to give to all of these things if it was in public, in full view of all of the pretty women, as well as their jerk neighbor, Chad. Seriously, Chad’s a jerk.

In contrast, women were much more likely to give in private, mostly giving to close family and friends. We can’t help but think some form of male ego may be at play here… Nah.

Women tend to find men who donate more to charity and help others out more attractive than the men who didn’t kill their own buffalos.

3. Being Unfunny (In Women)

Funny is attractive to both men and women. Having a good sense of humor is actually a good way to see how smart a person really is. In fact, you can give it a good guess as to how many women a man has slept with just by how funny he is. It’s something that women generally do put on their “wants” list when looking for a man to court them.

For women, the same does not hold true, however. Men are attracted to women who find them funny; they aren’t attracted to women who are funny. This probably goes back to men feeling the need to be dominant and are insecure around a woman who can make them laugh.

This is also the same reason we find comedians more believable than our politicians; we would rather hear facts presented with humor. We are more likely to believe them that way. This probably also explains why you want to bang Obama. And it also probably explains why I want to bang Obama.

2. Mild Neuroticism (In Women)

Think for a moment, men. What trait do you find most attractive in a woman, besides apparently being uncreative in the making jokes aspect of life? Come on, it’s on the tip of your tongue. It’s mental disorders, that’s what the phrase was you were looking for. You want a woman that is highly anxious. Why? Because it means she’s gonna make a great mother for your future babies. Women who are more anxious generally care more for the wellbeing of their children, as well as everybody else.

Alright, I can hear you now: Why would you want a woman who has severe anxiety? Well, your DNA tells you that you want a baby, despite your bros saying otherwise. You need that baby to carry on your family’s line and save Westeros. After all, your family is the rightful heir to the throne. And this is now Game of Thrones.

Men have the need to procreate just as much as women do, in some cases even more. When it comes time to settle down, you want a woman who can care for your child, not toss it over the edge of a cliff like in 300. When that time comes, go for that weird girl in the back of the bus. Give it a try. She might just be anxious enough to give you the offspring worthy of saving the kingdom from evil Joffrey (I’m super behind on my Game of Thrones viewings).

1. Humility (In Everyone)

What do you picture your ideal partner to look like? Loud, obnoxious, narcissistic? What about humble, quiet, and approachable? That’s probably not what most people think of when picturing the person they would most likely end up with. Some people want their opposites; this means that some people do want that obnoxious guy screaming from across the bar. Some others want the nice, quiet guy sitting alone with the scarf across his neck. Why? He’s humble, and research shows that we love the shit out of some humble people.

This could come from the fact that we ourselves like to show off, and sometimes our partners can get in the way of that. Sometimes we’d rather our significant other to just back off a little and let us shine. Or it could be because humble people see their strengths and weaknesses more accurately than other people do. This makes them much more likely to fix something that’s actually wrong with them. Put together, this makes for a great person to be around, unlike your neighbor, Chad. Seriously, he’s such a jerk.

Thanks for reading and follow Sonny on Twitter @fourcornerstuds. If you like his writing style, check out his book here. Remember to subscribe by e-mail at the top of the page for more!

4 Reasons You Should Be Wearing Leather Right Now

By Sonny Long

Sexy has a name, and that name is “leather.” Think about that person you saw walking down the street the other day. Were they sexy? Your answer depends wholly on whether or not he or she was wearing leather, does it not? No? You’re wrong. Leather is the defining line between hot or not, and now is your chance to act. All of those weight loss pill commercials, the advertisements for hair regrowth and skinny jeans to make you more attractive? Those are just fluff when it comes to the impact leather will have upon you and your self-esteem. So go ahead, grab a pair of leather pants, er, a leather jacket. Don’t do leather pants. We’ll touch on that later.

Do you want to be badass? Do you want to look like you could be surrounded by ninjas, a dragon, or your dog and still come out of it breathing? Well, look no further than the material cyclists discovered likely hundreds of years before us. They knew of its ancient awesomeness and now it’s your turn to go bask in the glory of the tanned animal skin.

So go get that leather jacket because…

4. Leather Is a Timeless Look

From the days of the Fonz to the awful comedy Wild Hogs, leather has mystified us with its elegance and badassery. There’s no competing with the chosen look of a wild biker. If you’re looking for something that will go with every and any outfit, you choose leather. It will go with your dress outfit, your jeans, your skinny jeans maybe, and even shorts (don’t try that, though). Leather embodies all that is good about human-kind. It comes from the tanned skin of our fallen enemies, us wearing it like the warriors that came before us. It has always been, and will always be, the look that best embodies what mankind is all about: badassness.

Even if you’re one of the ones that thinks they’re not the badass type, afraid to don the leather that will surely show it off, you too can wear leather because of its awesome effects on the human body; it turns you into a badass. Go ahead, try it. Run to your local Kohl’s, try on that Marc Anthony and you’ll realize what you’ve been missing out on this entire time. It’s time for you to join the ranks and realize that leather can be for anyone. It is, after all, a classic look that will work for anyone from the Fonz even to you.

3. Health Benefits

Think back to the Fonz here for a moment. Was he ever sick? Did he have the time be sick? People wearing leather are generally too cool and carry with that in their natural defense against not only ninja-lions, but also against the common cold.

In addition to being the coolest look you’ll ever don, leather carries with it numerous health benefits. Leather offers great protection against the elements, especially when faced with wind, rain, the cold, and we can only assume Firebenders.

Of course, aside from elemental protection, you have the obvious reason that bikers wear leather while riding their death machines: It will keep them alive in a crash, which is why many suggest that you actually complete the look with leather pants, for extra safety. Now, if you never intend on crashing the motorcycle, you still may want to wear leather for the above reason of protection against the elements, which would cause windburn or sunburn while riding the motorbikes without the leather.

Back to the leather pants you’ve been desperate to hear more about now. You’ve been sitting there wondering why you should wear leather jackets, but not the matching leather pants. Well, tight-fitting clothing (for men) actually lowers sperm counts. And seeing as leather pants are typically associated with “tightness,” you may want to reconsider the matching outfit. “What about baggy leather pants then, Sonny?” you’re probably asking now. Well, go ahead and take a peek here if you’re interested in those.

2. Your Favorite (And Every) Character Wears Leather

A dark leather jacket has generally signified the entrance of a “bad boy” type of character into a movie or show. You know they’re going to be dark, brooding, and most likely creepily quiet when you see that sexy tanned animal skin. Think back for a moment to Arnold’s rendition of the Terminator. He was a killing machine and he wanted to get that point across. So, what does he do? He murders the crap out of a dude wearing a leather jacket just to take it, right? Actually no. That’s not until the second movie that he gets his iconic leather look.

Abs featured in every movie, however.

Point is that leather is the look of not only badasses, but immortal badasses. Well, at least until he died. And then came back. Then died. But he’ll “be back” in Genisys. And then probably die.

The next leather-clad character we’d like to discuss is indisputably the most badass character on television right now: Daryl Dixon. Most people have a hard enough time relating to a badass character, regardless of his sexuality. With Daryl, however, most people would have an even harder time relating. He wields one of the coolest weapons of all: the crossbow, blew up a tank, and, as probably expected, rides a pretty sweet motorcycle in the land of the zomb- er, Walkers.

Did we mention he blew up a tank?

And then for those of you who are more magically inclined, the show Once Upon a Time features so much leather even the books are made from it. It would be hard to find one of the main characters (see: magical antiheroes) not wearing the material that makes panties (or boxers) hit the floor harder than a dropped iPhone.

"Oops, I think I dropped something. And it wasn't my phone."

Regardless of what type of show you’re into, leather has become the universal sign for sexy and badassery amongst television’s most popular characters.

1. Sex Appeal

Some of the characters above give a good enough representation of why we love the look of leather. The pictures do most of the talking, the brooding comes through quite nicely when admiring people in the sexy getups. However, leather’s sex appeal goes beyond the obvious. For some people, the love of leather takes a different twist; it takes a much more obsessive twist into fetish territory.

Leather is traditionally worn as, well, as we’ve discussed; it’s worn as a nice accessory to compliment someone who is already on his or her way to becoming awesome. For others, it becomes a tool to play out their fantasies. Some believe that desires like these come from wires crossing in the brain, causing a link to be formed between sexual wants and the given objects or actions. Still others may claim that it comes from the object being present while a sexual stimulus is also being presented. We prefer to believe that the fetish simply comes from magic fibers in leather that makes us all want the person wearing it.

Aside from fetishes, leather generally has a great natural look to it. As a jacket, it makes for a great almost-warm kind of comfortable feel to it. As for leather pants, we won’t go there.

Thanks for reading and follow Sonny on Twitter @fourcornerstuds. If you like his writing style, check out his book here. Remember to subscribe by e-mail at the top of the page for more!

Smartphones Losing Life?

By Sonny Long

Smartphones getting “sexier,” more “svelte” is apparently what we want. We have a compulsive need to see our phones wither away on their sides as the fronts get longer, sleeker, and “sexier,” much like a different industry. While I do not have a smartphone (I know, how do I manage?), I have seen the change is present in the newest smartphones; they truly are getting to the point where, when turned on their sides, you can barely see them. Many are excited that their phones are no longer “bricks” because of this. I, too, am excited that this change is bringing about thinner peo- I mean phones.

But there is, as always, a catch: smaller phones mean smaller batteries. And, of course, you can guess what that means: shorter time in between charges for the phones. We obviously have made great strides toward longer life in batteries as time goes on. We can even make do with smaller batteries, while still increasing the life of them. However, the point still remains, bigger batteries means longer lives. There will always be a trade-off in that category, even when our phones can go a year in between charges. We can either pick going two years and having a “brick” for a phone, or going six months and have a sleek, svelte phone.

Given the options, I would like to think I would be humble enough to pick the longer battery life in exchange for the vanity of a nicer-looking phone. However, not having a smartphone does not give me the insight to determine whether or not I would truly pick that. It has been determined that it would be suicide for a cell phone company to make a slightly larger phone in exchange for a little bit longer life because we would only hear that first part and tune out to the second because of our vanity, even in our phones.

But the question still remains: is it healthy, as a society, for our phones to wither away like this? Surely the insides of them are close to barren, meaning we are losing quality for a slightly better look on the outside, which, of course, is not everyone’s opinion. Some like the look of a slightly bigger, more bodacious phone. Some may even say that they have more to offer, that what’s on the inside is what counts after all.

So, given your options, which would you pick? Some more junk in the trunk or, perhaps you would be vain enough to choose the thinner, less healthy option? It is, after all, just a matter of opinion and perception.

Leave your thoughts below and check out other articles and short stories by Sonny Long here. And, as always, thanks for reading and stick around for more.