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By Sonny Long
You've seen all of the new movies that came out. Surely at least one or all of them featured either a superhero, talking raccoon, talking tree, or all of those. After seeing countless movies about athropomorphic animals that can sing, dance, and kick the crap out of anything in their paths, it can be easy to take for granted the fact that our animals can't actually do any of that, and our cats are lazy pieces of shit.
Seriously Mr, Whiskers, do something with your life.
So we're gonna tell you all about the animals with insane powers you've never heard about that shame even the coolest of superheroes (sorry, Daredevil, blindness isn't a power). So let's get started with...
5. Water Bears Are Immortal
Despite sounding like it, water bears are not a concoction from a top secret lab of the world's shittiest supervillain. Water bears are actually about a millimeter long and nearly impossible to destroy. Although they don't live up to the physical representation of water and bear, they are the hardest creatures on Earth to kill.
As if this wasn’t bad enough.
Water bears are known to be able to survive in extreme conditions, from scorching heat to much below the acceptable freezing temperatures (think -328 degrees F). Beyond this, they are known to be able to survive in outer space as well as go without food for over a century.
4. Planarians Are Pretty Much Immortal Too And Can Duplicate
If there was one superpower you could pick, a lot of people would say immortality. If one immortal animal wasn't enough, we'd like to introduce you to the cute and cuddly worm, planarian. Upon seeing it and being surprised by how adorable it is, you may instinctively cut it into a few different pieces. Well, if you were to do that, the joke's on you: cutting a planarian into different pieces actually will cause the different pieces to regenerate the missing parts. Kind of like another superhero we know.
At least it’s not as big of a smartass.
Every piece cut off of a planarian grows into a different planarian, much like the hydra in Hercules. So not only is the planarian immortal, it's able to clone itself into more immortal planarians. We only hope they have a long gestation period, or else the Earth may be covered in them in no time.
3. Plumed Basilisks Can Run On Water
Walking on water isn't generally the first superpower we hear people say they would want. Nonetheless, it's shown up in popular culture, with The Flash being able to run on water, as well as in ancient text (Jesus walked on water). What your Catholic school teachers never taught you was that Jesus wasn't the only one walking on water back them. Meet the Plumed Basilisk, a lizard capable of running on water on its hind legs.
Psshh. That’s soooo 2,000 years ago.
Aside from that, you may want to know more about this little guy. He's capable of running on land at an amazing 7 miles per hour, as well as being able to remain submerged underwater for up to 30 minutes. We don't really know our lizards, but we're gonna go out on a limb and say that's not par for the course for lizard abilities.
2. Rhodesian Ridgebacks Hunted Lions
What's a Rhodesian Ridgeback? you're probably thinking. It's a breed of dog, but don't worry, we'll have the video down below. For now, let's just talk about how difficult it was for the poor European travelers coming into the wilds of Africa, what with the rough landscape and new people they just couldn't get used.
Should have stayed in England.
The dogs the Europeans brought along were used to hunting small game like foxes and rabbits, not the likes of lions and, well, anything that hunted back, really. Therefore, they used their pups and cross-bred them with the various wild-dogs of the local Hottentos. That's how we got the Rhodesian Ridgeback a.k.a. African lion hound.
There is no video.
1. Dragons Breathed Fire and Ate Hobbits
Dragons, living thousands of years ago, roamed the landscape and owned the world. They forced humans into hiding and ate whatever they pleased. They were large, scaly beasts that could breathe fire and could destroy an entire village in a single swooping motion.
Contrary to popular belief, not all of them were named Smaug. Meet Greg.
Dragons actually did face off against hobbits on the likes of the islands New Zealand and Australia. Constant clashes led to the foundation of the Fellowship of the Ring, and eventually the Return of the King. Other stuff happened, such as various battles with Andy Serkis, Saurumon, and orcs. Dragons went extinct, but not before this epic battle caught on film a milennia ago featured below. Enjoy.
Follow Sonny on Twitter @fourcornerstuds or check out his book about the struggles in the apocalypse here.
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