5 Unattractive Traits (That Science Says Are Sexy)

By Sonny Long

We’d all like to believe we know what the other sex wants (sex, hopefully). But most of us only have a faint idea of what those traits the other gender is actually going for are. And, unfortunately for most of us, the countless commercials, shows, and self-help books have lied to us in a cruel ploy to get us to read or watch more on the topic. So, let’s take a look at some of those lies and see what really turns us on...

5. Being Scrawny (Men)

In most of our experiences, women tend to go for the strong men: the ones with elevated testosterone, a trimmed and tuck beard, massive upper body strength, and pardon our French, but the complete douchebags. We know this is mostly evolution taking its course; women want a man who can take care of them, their children, and will survive attacks from rogue mountain lions.

And that’s fine. The rest of the men on the other side of the campfire are totally cool with playing with arts and making songs while the other men are making goals at their sport-games. Just because the beard-fairies haven’t visited these men yet doesn’t mean they won’t someday sprout into the strongmen they know they’re meant to be. At least, that’s what they tell themselves.

But that’s where science comes in. Women tend to find the real strongmen, with elevated testosterone and all, more attractive because it means they’re healthier and more likely to produce stronger offspring that will have a better chance of surviving. That much is obvious. Many studies have also shown that manly facial features make men appear healthy and strong.

Good, manly looks come at the price of not having the inherent qualities that women seek in a long-term mate, however. Our brains automatically link manly men with poor father skills and are often seen as emotionally cold, something women don’t generally put on their “wants” section in their dating profile.

Wimps, on the other hand, are the opposite in every way. Women in more wealthy countries tend to go for the men that would take care of their children, play with them, and be all around a great person to hang out with. Women in poorer countries, rife with disease, often portray their health more negatively. Because of this, they tend to be attracted more to men with manly faces, as well as bodies and voices.

All of this information should come as no surprise, as women living in poorer regions often have only the survival of their children in their interests. On the other hand, women living in first world nations don’t have to worry as much about infant mortality rates given the advances in technology and medicine keep our babies alive much better than in the past. Less masculine men are ideal in this situation, seeing as they are seen as safe for women to be with, especially since they are less likely to cheat.

4. Generosity (Men)

Coming off of the last topic, you would think that men being “nice” or generous would have negative connotations. Think: “sissy boy.” Males of most every species are meant to be strong, independent, and fierce, never thinking of another person’s feelings for fear that they would get in the way of their own bulging testosterones. Any form of donation to the weak would be considered charity to someone who could have killed a buffalo on their own. Think: early Republican.

In a study, men were more likely to give money to strangers. Also, they were more likely to give to charity. However, they were much more likely to give to all of these things if it was in public, in full view of all of the pretty women, as well as their jerk neighbor, Chad. Seriously, Chad’s a jerk.

In contrast, women were much more likely to give in private, mostly giving to close family and friends. We can’t help but think some form of male ego may be at play here… Nah.

Women tend to find men who donate more to charity and help others out more attractive than the men who didn’t kill their own buffalos.

3. Being Unfunny (In Women)

Funny is attractive to both men and women. Having a good sense of humor is actually a good way to see how smart a person really is. In fact, you can give it a good guess as to how many women a man has slept with just by how funny he is. It’s something that women generally do put on their “wants” list when looking for a man to court them.

For women, the same does not hold true, however. Men are attracted to women who find them funny; they aren’t attracted to women who are funny. This probably goes back to men feeling the need to be dominant and are insecure around a woman who can make them laugh.

This is also the same reason we find comedians more believable than our politicians; we would rather hear facts presented with humor. We are more likely to believe them that way. This probably also explains why you want to bang Obama. And it also probably explains why I want to bang Obama.

2. Mild Neuroticism (In Women)

Think for a moment, men. What trait do you find most attractive in a woman, besides apparently being uncreative in the making jokes aspect of life? Come on, it’s on the tip of your tongue. It’s mental disorders, that’s what the phrase was you were looking for. You want a woman that is highly anxious. Why? Because it means she’s gonna make a great mother for your future babies. Women who are more anxious generally care more for the wellbeing of their children, as well as everybody else.

Alright, I can hear you now: Why would you want a woman who has severe anxiety? Well, your DNA tells you that you want a baby, despite your bros saying otherwise. You need that baby to carry on your family’s line and save Westeros. After all, your family is the rightful heir to the throne. And this is now Game of Thrones.

Men have the need to procreate just as much as women do, in some cases even more. When it comes time to settle down, you want a woman who can care for your child, not toss it over the edge of a cliff like in 300. When that time comes, go for that weird girl in the back of the bus. Give it a try. She might just be anxious enough to give you the offspring worthy of saving the kingdom from evil Joffrey (I’m super behind on my Game of Thrones viewings).

1. Humility (In Everyone)

What do you picture your ideal partner to look like? Loud, obnoxious, narcissistic? What about humble, quiet, and approachable? That’s probably not what most people think of when picturing the person they would most likely end up with. Some people want their opposites; this means that some people do want that obnoxious guy screaming from across the bar. Some others want the nice, quiet guy sitting alone with the scarf across his neck. Why? He’s humble, and research shows that we love the shit out of some humble people.

This could come from the fact that we ourselves like to show off, and sometimes our partners can get in the way of that. Sometimes we’d rather our significant other to just back off a little and let us shine. Or it could be because humble people see their strengths and weaknesses more accurately than other people do. This makes them much more likely to fix something that’s actually wrong with them. Put together, this makes for a great person to be around, unlike your neighbor, Chad. Seriously, he’s such a jerk.

Thanks for reading and follow Sonny on Twitter @fourcornerstuds. If you like his writing style, check out his book here. Remember to subscribe by e-mail at the top of the page for more!