5 Sci-Fi Weapons We're Scarily Close To

By Sonny Long

Alright, aspiring science fiction writers, as well as aspiring mad scientists (or real mad scientists), you seem like you're ready to hear all about what's new in the science world of military technology. Well, you probably already know about all of this stuff. Probably more than we do. So this here is more for the average folks and some peasants.

We're gonna be talking all about science advances the eight year-old you wanted, and the 20-something-year-old you still wants (probably more than young you). Oh, but you should probably be pretty scared for some of these coming to life because they'll be far out of your control.

So let's get started on what science has been cooking up to save us all... Or destroy us all...

5. Exoskeletons

When playing through your Call of Honor games, or games that otherwise feature an invincible warrior that can soak up ten, maybe a thousand rounds before succumbing to the need of a healing, and then go another thousand rounds, you probably wondered about how this could be possible. No? You just went ahead and kept playing because that's more fun than thinking too hard about it? Fair enough.

Well, it may come as some surprise that what you see in the games is not even close to possible. You can't really respawn back to life and give it another go at Hitler after you've fallen in battle. Also, you can't really soak up that much lead and keep going at MechaHitler. In reality, sometimes even one bullet can end a person's life. Yes, even yours. Sorry to ruin that for you.

But, you know what's pretty neat? The military has been working on suits that will allow troops to carry 400 pounds but feel a weight that's closer to 20 pounds. They're exoskeletons that will add to a soldier's natural strength. The military is hoping the suits will take off a lot of strain from lifting heavy amounts of... military stuff. Ammo?

They're also claiming that the suits will allow soldiers to run across a battlefield at lightning speed. If that's the case, they may never have to worry about having to go another thousand rounds if they can just dodge the bullet. Hopefully, since the suit is an exoskeleton, it will give the soldier's the power of the average insect, allowing a giant to squish them enough to hear a crunching noise, but not kill them.

Aside from being worried that Iron Man is becoming a reality, you should be wondering when you can get your hands on one. After all, if we all become Iron Men, are we still considered Iron Men, or are we still just men because that's the new standard?

4. Lasers

Something else the eight year-old you may have (definitely) wanted even more than to be a superhero might have been to have some laser beams ripping into the side of... well, probably everything. After all, what does an eight year-old not think of destroying? Whether the lasers you dreamt of came out of a sword or from various firearms from the Star Wars Universe (you've probably never heard of those movies, they're not very popular), you knew you wanted to blow stuff up and lasers may have been the coolest way to do it. Why? We don't have time for ridiculous questions.

Look, we're not getting this excited about laser hair removers or laser pointers. We're talking about the real deal here. We're talking about lasers that can take down a full-sized Star Destroyer. Alright, maybe we're just talking about lasers that can rip into the side of an aircraft carrier and do some major damage.

The lasers we (the government) have been testing have proven to be able to take down 150 drones and other incoming targets, such as rockets, missiles, and stormtroopers in test rounds. Alright, that last one may or may not be true. It's not.

Moving on, the government is also claiming these lasers will save a ton of money for us taxpayers, costing around a few million to fire just a single missile, where the lasers cost more in the ballpark of a dollar for each round spent. Why they feel they need to make claims to convince us why they need to use lasers is beyond us. We're probably more for it than they are at this point.

3. Guns That Shoot Around Corners

You're running through the streets, somebody chasing behind you, closing in. What's this? They have a gun! You notice this briefly but you keep running. Why are they chasing you? Why are you stopping to think about it?! Run! You successfully made it around the building, the person chasing you now nowhere to be seen. What's happening? Why is the barrel of the gun coming around the corner but not the man, woman, or possible space alien chasing you? Run!

Well, the bad news is you're dead. The good news is that at least it was a pretty cool new weapon in development that did you in. You also have nothing to feel bad about because there was no way you could have escaped it and the above example was just a simulation. It wasn't real so you can relax now.

The Corner Shot is a gun that, well, you probably can guess by now, shoots around corners. It has a camera on the side that allows you to see what the barrel of the gun is seeing, and also so you know what you're shooting at. Models start at a small price of $5,000 and come in both assault rifle versions, as well as "personal" grenade launcher versions, for all of your needs of destroying your jerk neighbor Chad's house. Because Chad is a jerk.

2. Stealth Cloaks

One thing that Harry Potter taught us is that the best superpower is time travel. And the second best is invisibility. Seriously, Harry is able to sneak all around Hogwarts doing whatever the heck it is he does (wizard stuff?). It enables him to sneak around undetected and figure out what all of those evil, kind-of one-eyed teachers are up to. And Snape. Snape is a douche, right?

Imagine if the military started investigating into that kind of magic and witchcraft. It would be crazy to think that our soldiers could soon be running around without so much as setting off a guard's detection meter above their head. It would be unbelievable.

Well, believe it, because your Uncle Sam is looking into making our soldiers invisible as we speak. They'll be able to sneak into enemy bases undetected and have the edge they need to get in and out before anyone knows they were there. Hopefully for the soldiers, they are also working on a way to make them visible again after the mission.

The invisibility clothes (we're holding back the urge to call it a cloak) work by bending the light around the soldier. It would greatly reduce visual and thermal signatures of the soldiers, making them much harder for the bad Russians to detect them. You can thank Harry Potter for making our soldiers safer.

1. Terminators

The scariest way to go, arguably of course, would be being squashed by a murder-bot while the rest of your species was also being wiped out by said murder-bots. What, do you have different, more realistic fears? Terminator showed us a future in which robots were on the verge of victory over mankind. Robots, the creations of humans in this universe, gained autonomy and decided humans would lead to the destruction of the Earth. Which, you may have noticed, was the exact same plot as Age of Ultron. So, to rectify this, the robots destroyed the Earth. Showed us humans, I guess. However, back in the real world, you obviously have nothing to fear, seeing as...

Oh, wait. They're working on Terminators as we speak? At least they're calling them a name that sounds more cuddly than murdery, even if not by much. UGVs (unmanned ground vehicles) will see service soon in many militaries around the world. Their service will help put our soldiers out of harm's way, seeing as they'll be taking the bullets for them. We can only hope they never gain autonomy enough that they realize we created them for the sole purpose of being bullet sponges.

There's still a lot of tweaking that needs doing before these Termina- er, murderbots see action, however, seeing as there's a lot of concern that the machines won't be able to tell who is hostile and who's coming at them with a puppy. There's obviously a lot of problems that this could cause, with one faction not being able to determine if another meant to shoot at their prized hog or if the UGV had a literal mind of its own. And God forbid these machines determine that we're all a problem, and there's only one way to rectify that problem...

Save us, Sarah Conner.

Thanks for reading and follow Sonny on Twitter @fourcornerstuds. If you like his writing style, check out his book here. Remember to subscribe by e-mail at the top of the page for more!